ah, the infamous work party. the only time of year where its acceptable to spew in bushes, drink beer out of a jug, walk around with no shoes, take your clothes off, pose for photos with award winners' hands on your boobs and talk shit to the people you spend 5 days a week with. i fared pretty well compared to previous work parties - i didn't wake up next to anyone i have to face on monday morning. i didn't spew. and i didn't fall over. i did however do some pretty lewd things in a elevator with a mexican dude who was convinced it was fate we met. but thats ok because i have no intention of ever seeing him again. and i woke up in the morning with only a smallest sense of regret (mainly because in my beer filled haze i forgot lifts have cameras. and i may be able to track myself down on an amateur porn site in the coming weeks). 

admittedly, i've woken up next to more than my fair share of boys and wondered what the fuck i was thinking when i had a little heart to heart with myself at 2 o'clock in the morning and decided i was going to take him home, get naked, shag, wake up the next morning, fall in love and live happily ever after. with age comes a little bit of knowledge, a looking back there at LEAST 3 things wrong with that - 

1) sex is never good when you're drunk. more so when its the first time

2) no one has ever met the love of their life in a nightclub at 2am after drinking their body weight in alcohol

3) the boy you kiss in the above situation is not going to be the boy you wake up with the next morning - and you sure as hell aren't going to be the hot chick he went home with either.

for you see my friendS, beer goggles are real. and i'd love to be able to show you an example of how real the beer goggles were on the saturday night just gone. but i cant do it. just ask my sister how she wee'd a little in her pants when i said the boy was a bit cute. 5 minutes and a facebook creep later - and i wee'd a little too. and so did emma. and jai. and lara. yep, it was THAT funny.

i haven't been laid for 139 days. maybe thats also helping to cloud my judgement. i hope thats also helping to cloud my judgement. and while i did wake up next to a fairly average mexican, it could have been worse. a LOT worse. i could have shagged a colleague. i could have shagged someone that would have gotten both of us in a dickload of trouble (excuse the pun). and i probably would have if sober bianca didnt open palmed smack drunk bianca in the forehead and have a good talking to her about the repercussions of doing such a thing. 

and sitting here today im so very glad im shagless. even if it is valentines day. because im happy being single. it fucking rocks. i can do myself better than any drunken one night stand can. and i love waking up next to only my cat every other day of the week. she doesn't cheat. she never talks back. and at least i know she's hot - even when im sober.