i'm a competitive person - always have been and probably aways will be. i've always prided myself at being the best at what i do. now i don't do very much - mainly drink, eat & get my own way. but i'm fucking awesome at it.  

so why, all of a sudden, have i found myself in over my head? oh wait, now i remember. i'm not good at being a 'we'. 

1 month and 21 days ago a boy came over for a drink. and basically hasn't left. now all of a sudden I'M a we - and we're doing dinners, we're doing drinks, and the standard 'yeah, i'll be there to get drunk and talk smack into the wee hours of the morning' text has turned into 'we'll be there'. eek. 

after many too many failed encounters with absolute wankers i marched my single and fed up arse down the the supermarket and bought the entire store out of AA batteries.  but isn't it funny how as soon as you resign yourself to a fate life just comes along and shits all over everything. two months ago i was planning adventures for just me, making dinners for one. without any thought, forewarning or big flashing illuminated signs saying 'turn right to become everything you despise' i've gone from a me to an us. i'm meeting the friends and all the drunken nights out lately have taken me into bed with the same person.

i suck at relationships. its a tried and tested fact. i spend so long crafting my art as being the ultimate single that i have literally forgotten how to be a couple.

now i've gone and made it sound negative - its not. and as much as it sickens me it totally adorable. its mainly me just freaking the fuck out. someone hand me a paper bag to panic attack into - soon it might be facebook official - the REAL kind of official. and that leads me to the point of this blog. i've faded other love interests. he has his side of the bed. i have sent eric off to live out his golden years in the land of forgotten vibrators and haven't faked it in forever. i have a stupid pet name for him. my friends adore him. 

so where to from here - or more importantly when does a boy friend become a boyfriend? what does having a boyfriend entail? is it ok for him to leave a toothbrush at my house? pick my toe nails on the couch? mine for nose gold in front of him? do i have to report back to base at regular intervals throughout the day? can i still go out with the girls? flirt with boys? drink straight vodka and party spew? turn my phone off, close the blinds and stay in bed all day reading a book?

i guess i'm just going to have to wing it. because google sure as hell isn't giving me straight answer. i'm going to be 100% me when i'm sober and 85% when i'm not so much (we wouldn't want to scare him would we now). i'm still going to eat in bed and vacuum the sheets when i'm done. i'm going to be immature and craft witty swear sentences like 'your mum sucks a fuck sack' out of letter magnets on my fridge. and i guess if he doesn't like it then he can go suck a fuck sack. because as much as it totally rocks rolling over to kisses and sex on demand five mornings a week by a boy who thinks i'm beautiful in no make up i'm definitely more accustomed to the single lifestyle. 

but i could really get used to being a we.